Well I suppose there is a reason for everything, but fuck if I know what it is. I will keep plugging along because I have to. I need and want so badly to get better.
My head and my heart need to put down their weapons and commit to a cease fire. They need to work together in conjunction, not battling to the death at all costs, because it’s killing me. And I am doing it to myself. I know I am. I just have to retrain myself.
This week I am starting to see my therapist weekly instead of once every two weeks. I need the support and I need to be smart enough to ask for it. I refuse to let my twenty-eighth year on earth deplorable for myself. It’s gonna be a lot of hard work and it’s gonna hurt, because I have to heal myself from the inside out, but this time I am actually going to do it. There is no other option. The only out is THROUGH.
"Head on with my hate, into the lights ahead. I’m amazed that I’m still standing and I demand that we all blend in."